I was going through his phone records and I found a # and something told me to call it so I did. It was another girl. On top of him messing with the one I previously wrote about he is now talking to some other chick on the phone. I asked him about it and he flipped on me of course for snooping through his shit. I don't know the nature of their relationship but damn how many other woman do you need? I was not enough so he went out and got the girl he's with. Now he is probably bringing someone else in the picture. This makes me feel so low and inadequate. Why am I not enough for anyone. Why when I am with someone and I give them my all is it not enough. Why do they always need someone else. I have been facing rejection my whole life and I am so tired of it.
I have been searching my whole life for someone to love me, all of me flaws and all. I know that that sounds sad. The saying usually goes how can you truly love somebody if you don't love yourself. My feelings are how can I truly love myself if no one else wants to. I am so tired of ending up here. I am sick and tired of feeling like I am not good enough to be loved.
I was doing so good and now I'm back in the same place. Well at least I didn't flip out on him. I for the most part remained calm throughout the argument we had over the phone. Why did I have to even bring it up on the phone. I should of just left it alone. Now he is mad at me again and probably never going to come home. I feel so alone right now. I just want a hug and for someone to tell me that this too shall pass.