Saturday, January 22, 2011


I know that it's been a while since I've wrote anything. I have just been taking care of my children and trying not to be stressed or allow the things that are happening in my life to get me down. Well last night his girl called me crying all hysterical talking about they got into it and he packed up his clothes and is probably headed to my house. Part of me felt sorry for her but then most of me was happy and thinking that he was finally coming home. Well this was not the case. They did have a big blow out in which she lied on me and said that I have been calling her and leaving messages on her phone. First she said that the number is blocked so she is thinking it's me. Then she changed it and said that my number shows. She then went on to say that I left messages on her phone. So I asked her to let him hear them because he knows my voice. Of course she said that she erased them, which made her look very suspect. If I am so called calling your phone and leaving messages and want to prove to this him, then no woman in her right mind would erase them. Would'nt she want the proof that I have been harrassing her. I guess they really got into it because he asked her to see the proof and she could'nt produce it. So he said to her that he has known me for five years and he knows what I would do, and play on someones phone is not it. She also could've lied better and said that I called her at night or in the middle of the night. No this stupid girl said that I call her during the day which is when I am with him. That is so stupid. While he is here I am tending to him and my children and spending time with them. Why the hell would I be calling her. We both know that she knows he is here during the day, so what would be the point. I think that she did all of that because she can feel him slipping away, or us getting closer and she wanted to throw salt in the game. I'm not over here trashing her or making up shit. I am bettering myself and getting back to be the person that he fell in love with. Meaning I am getting out of my couple year depression and enjoying life more. I'm not arguing with him or going crazy like I usually have done in the past. I am just going with the flow and doing me. She told me before that she felt a change in him and she can probably feel it now. I don't really feel bad for her though. She should'nt have messed with him knowing that he had'nt closed the door with me yet. How can he fully give himself to her if his heart is here with me. Don't get me wrong I have not suddenly become delusional. I know that there is no gurantee that he will come back home. When I feel as if I have had enough, I will walk away. He knows this situation is temporary. I guess it will be time to walk when I feel as if I have changed enough and showed him over time that things will not be the same as before. I know that he loves me and part him wants to be here. Eventually he is going to have to make a decision or I will walk. We will always be parents and I hope friends.

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