Saturday, January 1, 2011
It's A New Year
Well I made it through this holiday. He came over last night and spent the night with me and the kids. We reconnected like the old days before all of the craziness started. I definitely had a wonderful night. I miss him so much and wish he would move back home but I can't control that. I should have treated him the way he deserved to be treated instead of taking him for granted. Now it may be too late. I guess I need to focus on the positive side of this. At least he is still around, taking care of his children plus me. We see him everyday and alot of woman don't have that. So today it is about focusing on the positive instead of always pondering on the negative. Only time will tell, who knows what the future holds right? I mean at least he didn't completely cut me off and he isn't saying no. I think that he just wants to see if the new me that has been around for the past couple of weeks is here to stay. Or if I am going to go back to the same old depressed, miserable woman. Well I hope and pray that I don't return to that same person because like everyone else I don't like her. I just need to go with the flow and let what is supposed to happen, happen. That is something that has been hard for me all of these years. It is difficult for me to just go with the flow because I have a fear of the unknown. I don't like to not know what is going to happen. I guess it is kind of a control thing. I have issues with trying to control everything and everyone. That is one of my character flaws. Something else to work on, I guess I will have to add it to the list of things I need to work on.