Weekend Mornings

Most people look forward to the weekend. This is a time where they say yeah to not having to get up so early and do the busy work week thing. I used to be one of these people. Now I dread when Friday comes because I know that on Saturday morning I have to get up to myself. Grant my kids are here but I mean he is not. This is the same on weekdays but within a half hour of me getting up he is here so it makes it easier on me. This is one of the hardest parts because I am used to waking up next to him for 5 years. On the weekend he doesn't come as early and sometimes we don't spend as much time together. I miss that. I miss waking up to making love to him and making breakfast. Now he is probably doing that with her and the shit hurts. What am I to do about it? I really can't control it and that is what hurts the most. Also the fact that we are still in limbo. It is not officially over but we are not officially back together either. I am waiting for the day for him to say I am coming home or I am going to try to make it work with her. I'm scared of the outcome but looking forward to the day because  then we can either move on together or I can move on by myself. Well I am going to throw myself into cleaning my house and interacting with my children today. Doing this does help me most of the time but the thoughts don't leave. Until next time....